I just got back from the hospital. I was visiting someone very dear to my heart.

I won't say I 'hate' hospitals because I don't hate them. I hate the things a hospital has sometimes.

1) The tinge of blood that wafted in the air. I don't really like that smell in the setting. Outside of a hospital, it's okay. Inside a hospital, I can't help but think, 'Who's next?'or 'God help them.' or sometimes even 'I hope their struggle ends soon'.

2) How strange people you know look in that setting. Having wires attached to them, and monitors beeping, alerting them. The way the white walls make everything look clean, even if it's not. The emptiness of a room, when I see that I think, 'Who's going in there?' or 'Who left?'

3) The fake smile a select few nurses have on their faces. The fake, almost over done sweetness that they force into their voice. But, there are a few that show compassion and hope in their eyes and movements.

I'm only really ranting about this because I haven't been in a hospital in a few years and the last time I was, I was a recovering patient. It was hard to walk in there and see someone else laid up. I kept thinking, 'Why not me? Why am I not in here?'.

But there in one thing in hospitals that I absolutely hate.... just hate...

the white walls...
I hate the walls soo much. I feel almost as if it makes the hospital too clean. Almost as if they're trying to hide stuff from us. It really upsets me and it's really illogical.... but that's me...

thanks for reading this... I just needed to unwind from today's events...
Also, I'm going back to the hospital tomorrow because he asked me too. So, I am. Wish me luck and prayers or good thoughts for him.